Cupid Is A Goblin
by Rhiannon A. Christy
Summary: The Goblins are up to something, and Jareth has no idea this time. Fluffy funny oneshot for The Slow Hand Muse. J/S


Cupid Is A Goblin

* * *

We all lose things, it is a simple law of nature. A car key here, a sock there. Sometimes it is something unexceptional and sometimes very important. Whatever it is we think nothing more on it than that we have simply lost it. So when Sarah Williams would find that her hairbrush or that new jacket she bought last week had suddenly gone missing she had thought little on it.

Now Sarah, of course, really should have been paying more attention to the laws governing those special people who have had the pleasure of visiting the Underground. The most important law above all being, all those who have had dealings with goblins should always first and foremost suspect them in any weird dealings…and perfectly normal dealings as well to be on the safe side.

Sarah was at the moment pulling out every single item in her closet trying to find the afore mentioned new jacket. She had a date tonight with her coworker Ron, and she had hoped to wear it. Sadly it seemed as though her roommate Rose had most likely borrowed it again.

She sighed and got down to her knees to dig beneath the bed, she was sure that was where she had left that purple velvet shrug her mother had bought her for her twenty-fifth birthday. Her hands flailed around blindly beneath the massive iron bed only to find nothing, nothing at all.

She sat up with an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Grabbing the flashlight at the side of her bed she hoped that when she shined it under the mattress that she would still see that old wooden box there. Sadly when she flicked the light on and moved it around her fears were realized, the box was gone. Surely Rose wouldn't have taken that?

The box in question had been a box made of dark wood around the size of two large shoeboxes. Carved into it had been images of owls and roses. She had fallen in love with it the moment she had seen it. Not for its beauty, though it was beautiful, no but because of who it reminded her of.

She shook her head, no she would not think about that at the moment. She knew Rose was curious about the box. Sarah always kept it under the bed and locked and refused to allow Rose to look inside. Whenever her roommate would walk in on her when she was looking through it she would slam the lid shut. She told Rose that it held nothing more than childhood memorabilia. Would she really have taken it?

She hoped not, Rose would think her insane. Sarah, you see held a secret.

She had once met a man who was not a man at all, and she had fallen in love with him even though she had to sacrifice being with him to save her little brother. After she refused him she had tried to forget about that strange man with flaxen hair. Sadly her heart and mind wouldn't allow that. Ever since then she wrote her dreams and thoughts out in letters to the man and kept them locked away. And now the box with all those letters were gone and the only one who could have taken them would think her crazy.

Great, just freaking great!

Jareth was well aware of the most important law of the Underground, he had been the one to write it. But he never really thought it would apply to him. He was their king after all and were suppose to follow his orders. So when Jareth had stumbled upon a room in the northern most part of the castle he was surprised to find it filled with clothes and other mortal trinkets.

He should have seen it coming of course, not even the king was above the law. The goblins seemed to be up to something Above without his orders. He searched through the items to see what the little creatures were doing, and started when he realized just who's stuff he was now going through.

He could have kicked everyone of those goblins. He had sworn he would have nothing more to do with that little harpy that refused him. Oh he still cared for her, loved her one could say, though Jareth tried to stay clear of that word. And now here his goblins had sent him a room full of her things. He didn't need the reminder.

He went to leave the room when he came across a good size wooden box upon a table. It was not something he would have thought Sarah to own, mostly as it resembled something from the Labyrinth. His curiosity peaked as he realized the box to be locked.

With a wave of his hand the lock disappeared and he opened the lid. Inside were several old letters and a few drawings. He read through each and everyone as though they were the most interesting thing he had ever read. In fact they could be said to be.

"Oh my, little Sarah, how deceitful you have been." Jareth grinned his evil little grin. The secret was out and he was not about to let this go without a visit to his Sarah.

* * *

Sarah had cancelled her date with Ron, she was just too nervous to go out and it wasn't as though he was a particularly nice guy. Or good looking, or interesting, over all he was plain and rather annoying. But it was something to do at least.

Rose was out, at one of her parties no doubt. The apartment was all hers for the night. She had quickly gone through Rose's room to see if she could find her box, but came up empty. She went for a walk and then had a cup of coffee all hoping to get her mind off of the missing box. By time she got back home it was nearing midnight, Rose wouldn't be home for at least six more hours.

She tossed her coat across the couch and dragged her feet into her room. Her eyes landed on the box setting atop her unmade bed. She didn't care how it got there or even where it had gone, just that it was back. Running to it she almost fell, and opened it to make sure everything was still inside.

Her stomach dropped as she realized that her latest letter was missing, a letter that was quite detailed. She was going to kill Rose, she would figure out where to put the body later, but she would kill the woman now! She had just taken a step towards her door when she heard a soft laugh come from a dark corner of her room.

"This is a very interesting read, Sarah. Fact or fiction I wonder." Jareth stepped out into the light, a crumpled letter in his waving hand. Oh Sarah could have died right then.

"Fiction of course, like I would actually mean any of that." Her voice was weak and cracked as though she had rarely ever used it. Oh this was just too good, was she really going to try and deny this?

"Oh, I don't know, this is all a little too convincing to be fantasy. Let's see here; _'We were lying in bed, your hair across the pillow where my head had just been cushioned on. A bead of sweat had slipped down your brow and I had wiped it away, but before I could move my hand you captured it and slowly kissed your way across each of my fingers._

'_I woke before you had reached my thumb, but as I laid in my bed in a cold sweat I could still feel your lips on my hand. I could still feel the movement of your body across mine. I have tried to forget about you, but with each dream, each lonely night I fall for you more. _

'_Sometimes I curse the day I left you. Would I love you this much if I had never refused you Jareth?'_" A smirk spread across the lips of the Goblin King. Sarah was caught and she knew it.

"That my dear is just too much passion to be make-believe." Sarah's voice caught in her throat, damn the man!

"I…wha…tha..oh go jump in the bog Jareth!" She turned to try and leave the room once again only to be caught by the shoulders. Jareth's long arms twisted around her to hold her tight against him. She could feel his warmth seeping into her back, if he didn't let her go she was going to melt.

"Interesting idea my dear, but I think I would prefer a re-enactment of what you wrote in that letter." Melting forgotten, Sarah swung her arm back hitting Jareth in the ribs with her elbow.

"Well you can forget that! I wouldn't…" Jareth pressed a finger against her lips, quieting her immediately.

"You can't lie to me anymore Sarah, I read everything in that box. Now what would it take to get you to leave and return to the Underground with me?" Resisting the urge to slip her tongue out to taste that slender digit, Sarah turned in Jareth's arm.

"You could stop being such an arrogant ass!" Jareth just 'tsked' and shook his head.

"Dear Sarah, you wouldn't love me half as much if I wasn't. What else?" Sarah lifted her brow, was he actually negotiating this?

"Well you could apologize for stealing my brother, for starters at least." Jareth huffed, was she still on that?

"Fine, I shall over look the fact that you _asked_ me to take him and apologize. I'm so…" Stepping back Sarah just shook her head.

"No a proper apology. On your knees and beg, and don't forget about all the cheating you did." He didn't think his mouth could fall open any more. Was this really the same Sarah that had run his Labyrinth whining about things not being fair?

"Cheating? I never…" Again he was cut off as Sarah held up her hand.

"Oh yes you did! Let's see, you took away three hours from me, sent Hoggle to send me back to the beginning, sent the cleaners after me…" _Damn girl!_

"Alright I get it. Fine!" Jareth lowered himself down to the ground at Sarah's feet. When he got her back to his castle he would make her pay for this.

"Sarah, I am sorry for _'stealing'_ your brother and cheating you." Sarah thought she would blurt out laughing, he looked so pathetic down on the floor like that.

"I accept your apology. Thank you, now promise to never do it again." He was beginning to think that it would be easier just to find another girl, this one was more trouble than he thought.

"Never my Sarah. Should I ever even think to do it again may I forever reside within the bog!" Sarah couldn't believe she had actually got the Goblin King on his knees.

"A little over the top Jareth, but it will do. Now get off the floor you look like an idiot." Oh, she was _really_ going to pay for all that!

"Are you satisfied now?" Jareth really did not like the look of the grin on Sarah's face.

"Not fully. If, and I mean _if_, I go with you I will not be ordered around like one of your goblins." Jareth shook his head and moved towards her.

"Of course not Sarah. You are to be my equal." Sarah took a step back, she wasn't yet ready to give in.

"If we have a disagreement you will not be sending me to the bog, an oubliette or anywhere else." He took another step forward. Just a few more and he would have her trapped against the wall.

"I wouldn't even think of it!" She took another step back, realizing too late what he was doing.

"I will not be kept like some caged bird, I want to be able to leave and visit my friends and family when I want." Just two more steps and sadly Sarah knew there was no getting out of this one.

"Free as a bird…no cage my dear." Sarah could feel the chill of the wall just behind her.

"You will not, under any circumstances drug me or use magic on me without my knowledge or permission." Jareth was on her now, one hand wrapped around the side of her neck the other edging up the back of her head.

"Never. Are you satisfied now?" She shook as he drew closer, his lips just touching her own.

"Yes." Her voice was little more than a whisper as he descended on her in a heated kiss.

"Good, now we should be going. You are going to pay for all of that begging, Sarah." Jareth smirked as he whisked her away before she could protest anymore. She had a lot of making up to do, and he was sure she was going to enjoy it just as much as he would.

* * *

Cheering could be heard from the mirror in Sarah's room. Little voices congratulated each other on a game well played.

Turns out, Cupid is a Goblin.

* * *

**Author's Note: Ok, back before I lost my net when I posted the second chapter of "The Fire Stone" I said that whomever guessed correctly what was going on that I would write them a oneshot of their choice.**

**The Slow Hand Muse guessed correctly and her prompt was that the goblins have been mischievous and naughty, and not even under the Goblin King's orders this time. They've been sneaking into an older Sarah's apartment and stealing small items from her. Usually small replaceable things. But one goblin goes a step too far and takes something of Sarah's that is very personal. Jareth is outraged and quietly pleased at the sametime when he finds out about what his goblins were doing. He is at a dilemma, does he keep it greedily for himself or does he feel guilty and give it back or replace it with something better to make sure she thinks of him?**

**She gave me free reign with this, so it does not fully go with the promt. But I do hope you like it Sugar.**

**And everyone go to The Slow Hand Muse and read her stuff, she really is a lovely writer!**

**Disclaimer: Nope don't own it, not even that wooden box though I would love one!**


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